Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Fanfiction: MythBusters-Pokemon Special-Part 1 + Bonus MythRap Parody

MythBusters: Pokémon Special

Note: The outcomes in this fanfic are entirely hypothetical and have in no way been tested by me, nor do I encourage anyone to test them.

(Unless you actually are the MythBusters)

Adam: Attention viewers-do not try anything you are about to see at home.

Jamie: We’re what you call experts.

Announcer: On this bust-‘em-all episode of MythBusters-Can a bird ground a hot-air balloon-and survive to fly again?

(Reaction shot of Jamie)

Jamie: Looks like buster’s blasting off again.

Announcer: Meanwhile, Kari, Grant, and Tory test a shocking myth: Can a sudden jolt of electricity destroy a bicycle in seconds?

(Reaction shot of Kari)

Kari: My bike’s barbequed!

Announcer (Continued): Who are the MythBusters? Adam Savage.

Adam: There are a lot of unknowns here.

Announcer: And Jamie Hyneman.

Jamie: Through this electrode.

Announcer: Between them over thirty years of special effects experience. Joining them-Kari Byron.

Kari: You just totally jinxed us!

Announcer: Tory Belleci.

Tory: I see injuries in my future.

Announcer: And Grant Imahara.

Grant: My kettle corn empire!

Announcer: They don’t just tell the myths-they put them to the test!

Super: Balloon Bird Strike

(Adam and Jamie are in the shop in a typical myth-explaining setup)

Jamie: So what’s our myth?

Adam: Well, it involves hot air balloons.

Jamie: Go on.

Adam: Well, the myth is that a bird, flying at top speed, can fly through a balloon, tearing a hole and causing it to float back down to Earth.

Jamie: Is that it?

Adam: Actually, no-it goes even further. Apparently, not only does the bird make a hole through both sides of the balloon, but it also comes out on the other end relatively unharmed and can still fly back to its owner.

Jamie: Sounds like we’ll need to bring back the chicken gun.

Adam: Yes, but there are some other variables we need to consider.

Jamie: Like what?

Adam: Well, our research indicates that this has been done with varying sizes of birds flying at various speeds. I think we should start out by figuring out how much force and mass it takes to break through two layers of hot-air balloon material.

Jamie: Sound good to me.

Announcer: So that’s the myth.

(An animated sequence begins. Adam and Jamie are standing with Adam holding a dog and Jamie with a bird on his shoulder. Suddenly, Kari, Grant, and Tory appear and grab Adam’s dog and hop into a hot-air balloon shaped like Grant’s head)

Announcer: If a team of ner-do-wells kidnapped your prized pet and try to make a getaway in a hot-air balloon, you can send your trained bird-no, we didn’t make this up-to tear a hole in the balloon and send it back down.

(Jamie’s bird flies through the balloon, punching a hole and causing the balloon to fall)

Announcer: Amazingly, even after this kamikaze attack, the bird emerges on the other side safe enough to fly back to its owner.

(Jamie’s bird flies back, and Adam catches the dog as it falls)

Announcer: So while Adam and Jamie take care of things up above, Kari, Tory, and Grant are getting ready to hit the trail.

Super: Fried Bicycle

(Tory, Grant, and Kari are standing around about to explain a myth)

Grant: So, what’s the deal with this one?

Kari: Apparently, if you zap a bike with electricity from an animal equal to a bolt of lightning, you can actually destroy the bike, twisting the metal and rendering it unusable in a matter of seconds.

Tory (in disbelief): A bolt of lightning? What kind of animal can do that?

Kari: Apparently, some type of electric rodent.

Grant: Somehow I doubt we’ll be able to get one of those. Sounds like a good myth, though, so why don’t we start with the amount of current a real animal can put out, and if that’s not enough, we’ll turn up the voltage.

Tory: As long as I don’t have to be on the bike, that sounds great to me!

Cut to scene of Adam and Jamie

Adam: Jamie, we’ve done tons of myths on this show.

Jamie: Hundreds.

Adam: Well, the network is making a music video and they need us to pick out one hundred fifty.

Jamie: That’s an oddly specific number.

Adam: I know, and kinda familiar.

Parody of PokéRap by James Willams/Babi Floyd
With new lyrics by Steven “Yoshi” Reich

We put them to the test,
Yes every one,
You know we won’t rest
Yeah we’re not done

Bumpy Road, Phone Books, Jailbreak, Turkey
Nitrogen, Antacid, Baghdad-Battery
Drafting, Alcatraz, Jawbreaker, Taxi
Sodium, Convertible, Dental Floss, Gravity

Bust ‘em, Bust ‘em, Gotta Bust ‘em all-Mythbusters

We like to blow stuff up,
Set them on fire
We’ll get to the truth
No matter what’s required!

Scuba tank, Polygraph, Bottle Rocket, Syrup
Coconut, Old Dog, Firewalk, Quicksand
Flat Tire, Franklin, Pole-Vault, Aerosol
Dumpster, Pykrete, Wasabi, Parasol

Bust ‘em, Bust ‘em, Gotta Bust ‘em all- Gotta Bust ‘em all-MythBusters

Zig-Zag, Prime Rib, Reverse, Butter
Octopus, Resonance, Magnetron, Parachute
Plywood, Fingerprint, Horseback-Arrow
Duct Tape, Eel, Hwacha in Slo-mo

Gotta Bust ‘em all, Gotta Bust ‘em all (Pow!)
Gotta Bust ‘em all, Gotta Bust ‘em all (Bam!)
Gotta Bust ‘em all-MythBusters (Wow!)

Tornado, Air Bag, Sawdust, Laptop
Tailgate, Dynamite, Night Vision, Radio
Hoffa, Friction, Hurricane, Vacuum
Seven-fold, Tortilla, Bus Jump, Sonic Boom!

At least one hundred and fifty, or more to see,
To be a MythBusters fanboy is my destiny!

Exploding Pants, Piano, Tablecloth, Blow Dart
Avalanche, Lights On, Cabin Fever, Catapult
Blue Ice, MRI, Moon Walk, Awning
Costume, Tenderize, Thermite, Yawning

Woo! We’re at the halfway point! What are you doing?
Hey, what’s this? (Crash)
Break time’s over-here we go!

Hamster Ball, Helium, 10%, Red Herring
Mind Control, Seesaw, Cinnamon, Penny
Cheese Cannon, Hammer, Needle, Microchip
Match Heads, Diamonds, Subwoofer, Cycle Flip

Gotta Bust ’em all, Gotta Bust ’em all (Whoa!)
Gotta Bust ’em all, Gotta Bust ’em all (Wham!)

Water Heater, Moss, Elevator, Boom Lift
Bumper, Rain Run, CD (Mythbusters!)
China Shop, Elephant, Goats, Custard
Banana, Ski Lift, Watch out, Buster!

At least one hundred and fifty, or more to see,
To be a MythBusters junkie is my destiny!

Coffin Punch, Hair Spray, Swingset, Cold Feet
Lava Lamp, Cork Bat, Concrete, Ultralight
Right Turn, Tesla, Laminar
Spider, Hindenburg, Stethoscope, Spy Car

Whoa! Catch your breath, man!
We’ve got more myths!
It’s downhill from here-
Just a few more to go!
We’re gettin’ testy,
So listen real good!

Car Cling, Hovercraft, Brown Note, Waterslide
AC, Extinguisher, Soda Pop, Candy
Salami, Rowboat, Fishing Line, Trombone
Regolith, Popcorn, Moose (Don’t try at home!)

Gotta Bust ‘em all, Gotta Bust ‘em all (Zap!)
Gotta Bust ‘em all, Gotta Bust ‘em all (Ow!)
Gotta Bust ‘em all-MythBusters (Yeah-ee-ee)

Potassium, Jackhammer
Car Fall, Tennis Ball, Pressure Sensor
Soda Cup, Crossbow,
Magnets, Rockets, Time to blow! (Explosion)

Bust ‘em, Bust ‘em, Gotta Bust ‘em all (Oooo-Gotta Bust ‘em all-MythBusters)
Bust ‘em, Bust ‘em, Gotta Bust ‘em all (Oooo-Gotta Bust ‘em all-MythBusters)
Bust ‘em, Bust ‘em, Gotta Bust ‘em all - Gotta Bust ‘em all-MythBusters!

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